


i'm right over here (why can't you see me)

by agetwellcard



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Awkward Dates, Coming Out, Gay Bucky Barnes, Jealousy, M/M, Masturbation, Mutual Pining, Online Dating, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), aka bucky gets grindr, and steve gets jealous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2019-01-21 16:35:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12461649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agetwellcard/pseuds/agetwellcard
Summary: When Steve decides that Bucky needs to make friends that aren't just Steve, he doesn't expect for Bucky and Sam to get along. Or for Sam to tell Bucky about dating apps. Or for Bucky to make a profile and actually go on dates. Steve does what any loving friend would do: monitors Bucky's dates secretly. It all goes well until Steve starts to realize that he might actually be jealous of Bucky's dates.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is already all written, so I'll posting every Sunday until it's all posted. Hopefully everyone likes the first chapter and sticks around for more ridiculousness.

Steve’s the one to bring it up.

They’ve been back for two months now, and Steve’s been watching Bucky like a hawk at all times. He’s doing well, though. When he’s not attending all of his therapy sessions or tearing through a book a day, he’s following Steve around the apartment like a lost puppy.

And, look, Steve loves him. He wants to spend every minute with Bucky because a year ago he never thought he’d actually get the opportunity to spend time with him again. It takes a while for Steve to realize, though, what’s wrong with the picture.

It’s only one day when Steve returns from a lunch with Natasha and finds Bucky curled up on the couch watching Chopped with a rapt concentration that Steve realizes what’s wrong.

Bucky really only hangs out with Steve.

When Sam comes over for dinner, him and Bucky will play that game where they pretend to not like each other, but Steve knows they’re warming up to each other. Steve will even catch Bucky smirking down at the table when Sam says something particularly funny.

Sometimes, Bucky will even go out to eat with Steve and Natasha when Steve asks. At first, Bucky had been painfully careful and cautious when it came to socializing with Natasha, but after a while he let his guard down (well, as far as it can come down, now a days) and on one particularly good day he even started flirting with her like he used to do to the girls at the dance halls. Natasha wasn’t like those girls, and only gave him a blank stare.

Still, though, the only time Bucky hangs out with anyone is when Steve is there. He has no friends of his own.

“Bucky,” Steve starts carefully, sitting down next to him on the couch.

He looks up from the TV, eyes slightly glossed over for a few seconds before he blinks rapidly and smiles fondly at Steve. “What’s up?” he asks, softly.

“Sam wanted to know if you’d help him pick out a new dresser and bring it back to his place,” Steve says without thinking. Technically, Sam had asked Steve to go with him, but Steve knows that Sam would go with Bucky if he knew Steve wanted him to get out there more.

Bucky just squints at Steve when he hears this. “What?”

“Not everyone is a super soldier, you know that, right?” Steve asks, smiling at him.

Bucky doesn’t smile. “You’re coming with us?”

Steve shrugs, eyes looking past Bucky. “Fury wanted to see me tomorrow, and Sam said he would rather go with you, anyways.”

“Jesus, Steve,” Bucky says, scoffing. “You’re still a horrible fucking liar.”

Steve’s shoulders sag. He knows there is no use arguing with Bucky about this. He has always been terrible at lying, and unfortunately the serum didn’t correct that part of him. “Bucky, I’m only doing it because I care about you,” he says. “And I want for you to get back out there. I know we were each other’s only friends for a long time, but it doesn’t have to be like that anymore. Plus, Sam likes you, and I know you like him too.

Bucky seems dejected by this which is mostly the reaction Steve was expecting. “Kerry said the same sort of thing to me recently.”

Kerry is Bucky’s therapist, a nice red-haired woman who Bucky rarely talks of. When he does, though, like right now, he always gets incredibly drained looking, face all broken and hurt, like he’s given up. It’s never a pretty sight for Steve.

“ _See_ ,” Steve says hastily, putting a hand on Bucky’s thigh and squeezing reassuringly. “It has to be a good idea then. Just go with Sam and have a good time.”

Bucky looks up to him, forehead creased with concern and eyes searching in Steve’s for the right thing to say. Steve nods slightly. “You’re just going to keep asking if I say no, aren’t you?”

“Correct,” Steve hums.

Bucky deflates even further. “Fine. I’ll go. Only because I know Sam’s so weak that if I don’t go he’ll probably injure himself without me.”

***

When Steve texts Sam and tells him about the change of plans, it takes Sam all of two minutes to reply.

_He better not expect for me to make him lunch._

Steve knows it’s going to be great.

***

It all gets better after that.

It only takes a week for Sam and Bucky to become best friends. They bond over cooking (something Bucky’s taken an interest to since coming back), book reading, and, most importantly, making fun of Steve. Secretly, though, Steve loves it.

It only takes a little longer for Steve to set up and Natasha and Bucky, and for the two of them to start talking about different kinds of knives and then abruptly switch to something like random celebrity drama that they both happen to know about.

He even spends some time with Wanda, the two of them switching back and forth between Russian and English seamlessly. When Bruce or Clint are around, Bucky even chats with them unprompted.

Everything is going so well that Steve is surprised when one night as they’re eating dinner, Bucky goes, “Kerry thinks I should try to find a ‘ _significant other’_.” He makes the quotations with his fingers, emphasizing the words.

Steve nearly chokes on his lo mein. “ _Really_?” 

“Yeah – well, I mean, I kind of mentioned something about it,” he tells Steve nonchalantly between bites of his food. “She thought I should try to meet people, or whatever.”

“You think you’re ready?” Steve asks, only to realize how insensitive it sounds once it’s out of his mouth. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like – “

“No, I know,” Bucky assures him, waving his hand that’s holding his chopsticks. “I think I’m ready, though. I mean, I haven’t been in a serious relationship since I was still in school.”

He’s telling the truth. Once Bucky dropped out, he opted to chasing skirts instead of looking for anything long-term.

“Plus,” Bucky continues, “I see how you’re doing with Sharon and I wouldn’t mind something like that for myself.”

Something in Steve’s stomach drops. Bucky rarely talks or asks about Sharon. Along with a slew of other things, Sharon is on the list of things that Bucky and Steve don’t talk about. She did pop back into their lives every once in a while, though, when she’d come back to New York City for work and stop by the apartment and set up dates with Steve. They had only been on three dates, and every time the only thing Bucky would do was ask if Steve had a good time and if Sharon was a good girl.

“Okay,” Steve finally says, already forming a game plan in his head. His best friend wants to meet a girl and Steve is going to help him. “Well, bars aren’t exactly dance halls, but they’re pretty close. You could definitely meet a girl there. Or I could ask around and see if anyone knows someone they could set you up with. Honestly, I bet Sam knows a bunch of girls that would be good. And, _god_ , don’t even get me started on Natasha because – “

“Steve,” Bucky suddenly interrupts, face pinched. “I guess I should’ve been more specific. I’m looking for…a _guy_.”

Steve blinks at him. “What?”

Bucky almost seems embarrassed, face suddenly slightly red. “Come on, don’t act like you didn’t know,” Bucky says. “Or at least guessed.”

“That you were…” Steve trails on, voice fading out as he thinks.

If Steve is being fair, there were a few moments that he had considered the possibility of it. Before, though, it was a different time and Bucky had him going on enough double dates and telling Steve about nearly all his encounters with girls that he had brushed it off. Really, it was easier that way.

Hearing him say this now, however, it makes sense. Of course it does.

“Of everything that’s happen, it’s kind of convenient that I’m here now,” Bucky mutters, refusing to make eye contact with Steve. “It would’ve been a lot harder before.”

Steve doesn’t know what to say. He still remembers Bucky and him talking about one day finding a dame and marrying her and settling down in some white picket fence dream house and having babies and living happily ever after. It was what you did back then. Steve is almost certain that Bucky would’ve done it, too.

“Well, shit,” Steve finally says.

Bucky doesn’t look surprised and he doesn’t teasingly scold him for cursing like everyone else does because he’s seen Steve curse his entire life. There’s something comforting about it.

“You’re not gonna tell me Captain America’s a homophobe are you?”

Steve frowns at him. “No. Never,” he tells Bucky seriously. “Hey, I’m glad you told you me. I’m just surprised.”

Bucky seems amused by this, lips curling up as he settles into the couch looking relieved. Then, he goes, “Sam was telling me about this thing you can get on your phone that matches you with people in – “

“A dating app?” Steve asks, even more surprised. He only knows what it is because Tony had put a bunch on his phone a year ago when he thought Steve needed to get laid (all of which SHIELD told him to _not_ use). “Wait, Sam knows?”

“You’re the one that wanted us to be friends,” Bucky teases, big smirk on his face.

Steve can’t even be mad at him, either. He’s missed that smile too much. “So, you’re going to get one?” Steve asks him.

“Thinking about it,” Bucky says. “I just…do you think I should?” The smirk has slipped off his face, and is replaced with a worried expression. “Do you think people would even…want to? After everything I’ve done?”

Steve feels like he can’t breathe and that his heart is breaking.

Bucky hasn’t been blamed for what he did under brainwashing, even if certain people would like to see that he is. Mostly, though, the general public has celebrated his return and good health. There are still random people, and Steve still painfully remembers the group of people who picketed outside the Avengers Tower demanding Bucky’s arrest. Besides that, people liked Bucky for his sharp wit at press conferences or at least felt bad for him.

“Of course they would, Buck,” Steve assures him, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Because that wasn’t you.”

Steve can practically see the way Bucky bites back, “But I still did it.” They’ve had this fight plenty of times before.

“Now, come on,” Steve says, cheering up. “We’re gonna find you a good guy that knows how to cook and likes reading and knows how to throw a good punch.”

Bucky smiles at him again, and Steve tries to ignore the strange feeling that’s brewing in his stomach.

***

Bucky sets up his profile with Sam and Steve one night. They’ve all been drinking a bottle of wine, but Sam is the only one showing any symptoms of the alcohol. Mostly, Steve’s found, Sam just laughs more when he’s drunk and gets extremely touchy. Bucky is clearly amused by this, and keeps teasing him about it until Sam rolls his eyes and goes, “Okay, sure, make fun of me. At least I’m not afraid to use a dating app.”

Bucky frowns at this. Steve knows it’s not good because what Sam said comes out more like a challenge than a gentle ribbing. Chances are, it was probably meant to sound that way.

“I will,” Bucky declares, already walking over to the coffee table to retrieve his phone from where it’s plugged in.

Sam thinks this is particularly funny and wraps his arms around Steve and covers his face by burying it in Steve’s chest. “He’s not actually going to,” he says, muffled by Steve’s shirt.

“Are you sure, Buck?” Steve asks, walking forward a little with Sam still hanging off of him.

“I’ve been putting it off,” Bucky tells him, not looking up from his phone, face scrunched up in concentration. “Besides, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Steve can think of a handful of things off the top of his head, but he voices none of them. He knows Bucky’s already made up his mind. Any prodding from Steve will likely only make him want to get it even more.

So, they all sit on the sofa and help Bucky make his profile. They get the photos of him from Steve’s phone (and Bucky deflects the joke from Sam about using the photo they used to play on the news channels). Bucky wants to make a joke out of his bio, but Steve makes him take it seriously because he wants for Bucky to actually meet people who are interested in him, and not some weird altered public figure version of him.

Their next obstacle is dealing with some organizational system referred to as “tribes” that has Bucky googling things like “twink” and “otter” only for Sam to slap hand over his mouth and let out muffled giggles. Steve can’t help but to laugh a little too at some of it.

“What am I?” Bucky asks, looking distraught about it all. “Why did they make liking men so specific?”

Sam gives him a sympathetic look. “Well, you’re, like, ninety years old so it looks like you have to go with daddy.”

Steve scowls at him. “Do _not_ do that.”

Bucky is staring so dejectedly at his phone that Steve feels a little bad for the guy.

“Okay, alright, how about rugged?” Steve offers.

“Am I really sexy, though?” Bucky asks, squinting at the definition up on his phone.

Sam actually howls at this. “Yeah? Is he, Steve? Do you think he’s _sexy_?”

Steve can’t even help the way his face gets red and he even stutters on, “Well, aesthetically, he is – _you know_. Come on, Sam, you know what I mean.”

“No, what do you mean?” Bucky asks, smiling at Steve with his head cocked smugly.

Steve crosses his arms over his chest and leans into the couch. “Fine, be a daddy for all I care,” he huffs.

In the end, Bucky does go with rugged, but only after him and Sam tease Steve for another fifteen minutes before agreeing on it. After looking over the profile one more time, they decide it’s good and then suddenly Bucky is on a dating app. Steve thinks that of all the strange things that have happened since he’s come out of the ice, this one is pretty high up there.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I lied. I'm updating early because everyone was so nice :")

It only takes a few days for Bucky to set up his first date.

Steve’s been watching him use the app, too. He doesn’t miss the contemplative faces Bucky makes before typing something out or the way he smiles when he clicks open the app and tucks hair behind his ear like a nervous tic. Something about it puts Steve on edge, but he tells himself it’s just because the whole thing is a little risky. Steve’s learned to be weary about the public after a few weird encounters, but Bucky doesn’t seem jaded by any of it.

So, when Bucky casually mentions to Steve that he’s set up a date for the following night, Steve decides the only thing he can do is closely monitor it. It’s not like SHIELD wasn’t already working on sending some junior officer to watch Bucky from a couple of tables over, so Steve steps in and gracefully takes the job from them. Even Steve can know his weak spots, though, so he calls Natasha and asks her to go with him, for her expertise and also because he doesn’t want to be alone.

Before the date, Bucky looks through his (admittedly small) closet for something to wear. Steve leans against the doorframe to his room and smiles fondly at the scene. He kind of thought that going through one’s entire closet was reserved for cheesy romantic movies, but here Bucky is, throwing his shirts all over his floor with little exasperated sighs.

“Bucky,” Steve hums, trying to stifle his amusement for Bucky’s sake. “Do you just want to borrow one of my button ups?”

From the closet, Bucky gives him a surprised look. “You sure?”

Steve rolls his eyes and starts to walk to his bedroom, expecting Bucky to follow him. He does, too, and once he’s in front of Steve, he hands him a few options and then they spend the next fifteen minutes deciding which shirt gives off the perfect vibe for Bucky.

“Why can’t I just wear a suit?” Bucky huffs.

“Believe it or not,” Steve tells him, “but that’s actually _too_ formal.”

Bucky scoffs. “What happened to class?”

They smile at each other for a few warm seconds, before Bucky kicks back into motion, slipping off the shirt he’s trying on. Steve watches as he leans down, his toned arms fishing a new shirt from the pile they’ve created. Steve swallows thickly and looks away. Once it’s buttoned, Bucky stands in front of Steve waiting for approval.

“Tuck it in,” Steve says, frowning at him for not having done it already.

“No way,” Bucky tells him. “Only one of us can dress like a grandpa.”

Steve pretends to be offended since the grandpa jokes have been the one constant in his life since coming out of the ice. “You should respect your elders.”

“I’m older than you.”

Steve rolls his eyes again. “Barely.”

By the time Bucky leaves (clearly trying to hide how nervous he is), Steve is already calling Natasha, his phone in the crook of his neck as he ties up his shoes.

“He looks cute,” she answers, with no preamble. “Did you dress him?”

He ignores her. “Are you already outside?”

“Waiting for you.” She pauses. “He just got in a cab. You coming?”

Steve takes the elevator down and has to scan the area a few times before Natasha walks right out at him. She’s wearing a black hoodie over a tight red dress. Her hair is pulled back, the hood up. When she sees Steve’s disguise (cautionary nondescript sunglasses and baseball hat, as usual), she laughs at him but doesn’t say anything about it.

Natasha hails a cab and they ride in silence, Natasha cozying up to him with a hand on his thigh. When they arrive at the restaurant, Steve’s not expecting for them to actually go inside. He had thought maybe if they were lucky they’d be able to spot him from the glass interior or something, but Natasha only slips off her hoodie, walks right in, and doesn’t even have to say anything to the hostess before they escort them to a table cradled in the back.

It’s only once they’re sitting that Steve realizes Bucky is all the way across the room, a charming grin on his face as he makes small talk to the guy across from him. Before Steve can get a good look at his date, Natasha kicks his foot under the table.

“You’re terrible at this,” she tells him.

Steve isn’t exactly offended. “How long have you been planning this?” Steve asks. “Did you track his app or something?”

“I didn’t do it myself, but that’s sweet you thought of me,” she says, smiling.

Steve stares. “SHIELD?”

“Ding, ding, ding,” she mutters.

He was mostly expecting it. For a brief few seconds he wonders if Bucky knew, but he realizes dumbly that, of course, Bucky knew.

Steve can’t help but to look back over his shoulder to their table. Steve had seen a picture of the guy that Bucky had shown him when he mentioned the date, but he looks different in person. He’s smaller than Bucky, with blond hair with a bright red sweater on that looks two sizes too big. Mostly, he looks harmless. Bucky, though, keeps cuffing and uncuffing the sleeve of his shirt, like he isn’t even thinking about it. He probably isn’t.

Steve looks back to find Natasha giving him an annoyed look. He ignores it. “He seems…awkward,” Steve tells her quietly.

“Not as awkward as you were,” Natasha says.

Steve squints at her. “Excuse me?”

“On your date,” she supplies. “I did this same thing for your date.”

“You – _what_?”

Natasha just smiles at him again. “You had to have known we’d be following you. The security on you is usually – ”

“Why would Sharon need someone watching over her?” Steve hisses at her.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “It was for you, you idiot. Plus, it’s protocol.”

Steve is angry for a few silent minutes, but his mood is brushed off when their server comes around and Natasha gives him a big smile and asks for their best wine. Steve casually turns his head, and catches a glimpse of Bucky laughing at something his date said, pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. Steve turns back around quickly.

“What do you know about this guy?” Steve asks.

“Graduate of Pratt, does illustrations for children’s books, lives in this shitty little apartment in the Bronx,” Natasha lists, eyes floating to the ceiling as she thinks. “He didn’t start the conversation asking for dick pics, so I think that’s why Bucky likes him.”

Steve gapes at her. “Guys ask for pictures of his – ” Steve abruptly cuts himself off, too shocked to finish.

“Oh yeah,” she says knowingly. “Or some just send them their own dicks.”

“Has he – No, never mind, don’t tell me. I don’t even want to know,” Steve says, trying to get _that_ image out of his head. “The books he illustrates, are they any good?”

Natasha seems amused by this. “I mean, _Happy Lion’s Happy Day_ did seem promising.”

The server comes back with their wine, pouring them both generous glasses. Steve clinks his glass with Natasha’s and asks for an update.

“They’re eating,” Natasha says, casually peering over to their table. “Ew, Bucky got _spaghetti_. Jesus, you gotta talk to him about that. Who gets spaghetti on a first date?”

“ _Natasha_.”

She sighs. “They’re just eating and talking. Seems good.”

“Does Bucky seem into him?”

“Maybe?”

Steve can’t help but to look over his shoulder to see the way Bucky is frowning at his spaghetti, clearly regretting his own decision.

“Smooth,” Natasha hums sarcastically.

“Come on, Nat. He’s my best friend. I just want for him to be happy.”

She quirks an eyebrow at him but doesn’t say anything. They spend the rest of the date sipping wine and keeping tabs on Bucky. Nothing interesting happens, and Natasha sends Steve home when they’ve finished their meals and promises to keep Steve updated.

Reluctantly, he does as he’s told and carefully sneaks out of the restaurant and hails a cab back to the apartment. The only text Steve receives on the way home from Natasha.

 _they didn’t get dessert. heading out now_.

When Steve gets in and changes into pajamas, lounging casually on the couch, another text comes in.

 _no goodnight kiss. he’ll be back in a few_.

True to her word, Bucky comes in soon after, quietly tiptoeing the apartment until he realizes the light in the living room is on. He’s unbuttoning his shirt when he walks into the living room, curiously peering around and looking surprised when he sees Steve curled up reading a book.

“Oh,” he says quietly. “You didn’t have to wait up.”

Steve shrugs, hoping it looks innocent. “How did it go? Did you like him?”

“It was okay,” Bucky hums, sitting down next to Steve. “He was okay, too. Kinda boring, if I’m being honest.”

“Seems like you would be interested in boring, all things considered,” Steve says, smiling at him.

Bucky huffs out a laugh. “Probably.”

They’re both quiet for a few moments, and Steve watches the way that Bucky stares at a spot across the room, a slight frown on his face. Steve vaguely hates that guy for not giving Bucky a better night.

“You want to watch something?” Steve offers, shaking the remote control. “Not really tired.”

Bucky perks up at this, nodding his head enthusiastically. “Let me change real quick. Put something comfy on.” He’s almost out of the room when he yells, “But no HGTV, Steve!”

A few minutes later, Bucky is back, dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a soft-looking t-shirt, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. When he sits down, he leans into Steve and puts half of the blanket on Steve’s lap.

***

The second date doesn’t go as smoothly.

Bucky is less nervous about it. He slips on Steve’s shirt again after Steve offers to iron it for him. Steve watches him do up with the buttons with one metal and one flesh hand, his flesh one not nearly as shaky as the date before.

When he leaves, Steve meets Natasha out in the street. She’s dressed casually, like anyone else on the street, and Steve suddenly feels embarrassed for his bizarre attempt at incognito.

“You and these sunglasses, Jesus Christ, Rogers,” Natasha hums, pulling them off his face and putting them on herself. They look a bit ridiculous, but Steve figures they did on him too. “There’s a café next door, too. We can get some coffee and watch from there.”

Natasha debriefs Steve on the guy as they walk down the street. He’s from Manhattan, likes dogs, works as a programmer, and not much else. His profile had been decidedly bare, but Natasha thought that the two of had hit it off.

When Natasha and Steve round the corner, Steve instantly sees Bucky down the street. He’s on an outside patio, smiling down at the table before looking back up to his date. Steve instantly bows his head, but he can hear Natasha laugh beside him.

“You’re always so stealthy,” she hums. Steve could practically hear her eyes roll.

They get a table at the café next door, and Steve tries to keep his head down every time he peaks up to see how the date is going. They just seem to be talking, though. The waitress brings over two drinks, surprising Steve until he realizes that Natasha must’ve ordered something without Steve realizing it.

There’s a bloody mary for either of them.

“Really, Natasha?”

She shrugs, taking a long gulp from her drink. Steve sighs but still takes a drink himself. When he looks back up, something has definitely changed in Bucky. Instead of the bashful smile and underlying blush on his face, he’s frowning, mouth parted slightly.

Even with his enhanced hearing, Steve can’t hear what they’re saying but he wishes he could. Bucky is shaking his head then with an embarrassed look on his face. Steve needs to look down, needs to be a little bit conspicuous, but he can’t.

“Steve,” Natasha warns quietly.

He hadn’t realized he’s gripping the edge of the table, nearly bending the cheap metal. He can’t help it, though, not with the way that Bucky’s face is growing increasingly paler by the second.

His date is speaking up now, clearly upset, and Steve happens to hear the next sentence because he’s yelling. “You killed hundreds of people and you weren’t punished at all!”

Steve is already half off his seat, mind screaming with anger, when Natasha pulls at his arm with a much stronger force than Steve realized she had.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” she hisses. “James is a big boy. If you go over there you’ll only make it worse.”

Steve swallows thickly. She’s right, and he knows it. He doesn’t want to accept it, but she’s right. If Steve goes over there, Bucky will know Steve’s been stalking him on his dates and he’ll be even more upset he thought Steve needed to help. Steve forces himself to sit.

The yelling is getting louder, though. “You should be in jail! You should be given the fucking death sentence for what you’ve done!”

Bucky’s face is horrified and embarrassed, but the last part makes him jump up from his seat with a cold, murderous look on his face. “Fuck you,” he spits at his date, and then storms off in the opposite direction.

Steve’s heart is beating too fast, and Natasha is frowning deeply when Steve looks over.

“Go to the grocery store,” Natasha tells him. “Get some food, something he’d like. Wait for twenty minutes then go back home.”

It’s the last thing Steve wants to do. He wants to follow Bucky down the street and pull him into a hug. He wants to punch his date in the face.

Natasha clearly knows this. “Don’t worry. That asshole will get what’s coming for him. I don’t have a reputation to ruin like you.”

Steve nods begrudgingly, and then sets off for the grocery store. He lingers for as long as he can after picking out a meal he knows Bucky likes, and then heads back for the apartment, his chest heavy and tight with worry.

When he finally gets inside, the fear in him only grows when Bucky doesn’t answer him calling. He’s not in the living room or the kitchen when Steve drops off all his grocery bags. He hurries to Bucky’s room, finding the door ajar but his presence absent. Steve’s about to give up and call him, but then he notices his own bedroom door open. His room is empty, but his shades are blowing in the soft wind with the window down.

Steve hesitantly walks over, his worry burning a hole in his stomach. When he reaches the window, though, he finds Bucky sitting on the fire escape smoking a cigarette.

“You’re home already?” he asks, suddenly feeling horrible for lying. He barely fits through the window, but he sits next to Bucky, leaving a safe space between them.

Bucky seems genuinely surprised. “Fuck,” he mutters, rubbing his face. “I should’ve closed your window, I’m sorry.”

He goes to put out his cigarette, but Steve reaches over to stop him. “It’s fine. Just share.”

Bucky smiles a little, but hands over the cigarette for Steve. He takes it and inhales, the sensation strange and not all that great.

“So,” he says, handing it back. “I take it that it didn’t go well.”

He tries to sound like he really doesn’t know, and that he’s still not radiating with anger about it. Part of him still feels bad about lying about it, though.

Bucky laughs bitterly. “You could say that.”

The desire to punch his date in the face only magnifies twenty times at the hurt in Bucky’s voice. After everything he’s been through, this is the last thing he deserves. Steve hesitantly leans into Bucky, closing the gap between them. Bucky puts out the cigarette and leans back against Steve, letting his head drop on his shoulder. “It’s just one guy, Bucky,” Steve says amicably. “There are a lot of guys out there.”

“I don’t think I should try to find someone anymore,” he says quietly. “It was a stupid idea. I’m really not cut out for this.”

Selfishly, Steve almost agrees with him. For a second, he thinks maybe it would be easier if Bucky stopped. There’d be no more guys to disappoint Bucky. He’d be able to spend all his nights with Steve without always checking his dating app or feverishly writing texts back to someone that Steve doesn’t know. He almost agrees, but only because of the jealous pit in Steve’s stomach, but he doesn’t because that’s not what Bucky deserves.

“That’s not true, Buck,” he says sternly. “I once saw you take down an entire Hydra facility without breaking a sweat. I think you can manage dating. You just have to find the right person.” Steve swallows thickly. “You’re the best guy I know. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life.”

Bucky is quiet for a few seconds, so Steve is surprised when Bucky’s hand finds Steve’s and unfolds it from the fist he was unconsciously making, and entwines their hands together. It shouldn’t feel as intimate as it does, especially after years of knowing each other, and admittedly holding hands a few odd times, but it does.

“Thank you, Steve,” he says finally. “Maybe I’ll give it another shot. Just to see what happens.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm things are happening ;)

The third date is a movie date.

Bucky spends at least a half hour before the date just pacing around the living room. He puts his hair back, and then down, and then back again a total of three times before he finally just pushes it behind his ears and straightens his shirt.

“What if he hates the movie?” he asks Steve, sounding more nervous than usual. Steve thinks it’s strange, but Steve just figures that he must really be interested in this guy and doesn’t want to mess it up.

Steve waves his hands. “It’ll be fine, Buck. He’s there for you, not the movie.”

“Right,” Bucky says quietly.

When Steve finally gets him out of the apartment so he isn’t late, he already has his shoes on and Natasha on the phone.

“Come on down,” she says, skipping hellos. “He’s in the cab.”

“He’s really nervous about this one,” Steve tells her conversationally as he locks the door.

Natasha laughs. “Bet I know why.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Steve asks.

Natasha hangs up.

Annoyed, Steve hurries outside to find Natasha leaning next to the door in her standard hoodie. She’s smirking at Steve, who only glares at her as she hails a cab.

“What’s this one like?” Steve asks.

“Works at a deli in Red Hook, likes yoga, and has a pretty decent dick,” she says casually.

“ _Natasha_!” Steve exclaims.

She smiles widely at him, clearly amused by the blush that must be covering his face. “Look, if he’s going to offer it up, he has to know that other people could see it,” she tells him knowingly. “I was just trying to do my job.”

Steve rolls his eyes and fidgets with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Why did he even respond to… _that_?”

“To a dick pic?” Natasha asks, smirking at Steve. Steve just glares. “It wasn’t exactly the kid’s opener. There was a certain conversation that took place where it was kind of appropriate to send the photo.”

“He – _what_?” Steve chokes out, trying to blink away the thought of Bucky gladly accepting those kinds of pictures.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “Don’t even give me that, Rogers,” she says. “Some of us actually take active measures to get laid.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Steve is quiet for the rest of the ride, coldly turned towards the window. When they get to the theater, Natasha makes Steve stand behind her as she scopes the place out. They just barely see Bucky walking towards one of the theaters shoulder to shoulder with a skinny taller man.

“Lets get some popcorn,” Natasha mutters, already on her way to buy some.

Steve waits behind her, head tilted down so the brim of his hat covers his face. Natasha gives him an amused look, but doesn’t say anything as she pays for her popcorn and they head for the right theater.

“This movie looks horrible,” Natasha says after she hands the usher their tickets. “But I really doubt his date cares about that.”

The theater is almost half full when they arrive, and Natasha and Steve lean into each other conspicuously as they make their way to the back row, maneuvering so that they’re only a few seats back from where Bucky and his date are sitting. Even with the enhanced hearing, Steve can’t hear what they’re saying, but they’re leaned in closed as they laugh at something.

The movie is only ten minutes in when Bucky’s date casually throws an arm around his shoulder after feigning a yawn. Natasha nearly giggles when she sees it, and she has to cover her mouth, sending Steve an amused look. Steve only stares, though, as Bucky leans into his touch.

Steve half watches the movie, but constantly checks on Bucky. Every time he looks over, they’ve managed to get even closer. At one point, Steve looks over and is shocked to find the two of them kissing. The guy has his hand on the back of Bucky’s neck, keeping him where he is as they make out.

Natasha gives Steve a knowing smile when he looks over to her.

Steve tries even harder to watch the movie, but his eyes keep sliding down to where Bucky and his date are feverishly making out now. Steve almost can’t believe it. They’re in _public_. When Steve catches the way that Bucky runs his hand through his date’s hair, he abruptly stands and heads out of the theater, shoulders hunched as he heads for the door. He’s almost positive he goes unseen by the two.

Steve is only out in the lobby when a text from Natasha comes in. _I’ll keep you updated_ , it reads. Steve sends back a thank you text before heading out of the building. He doesn’t hail a cab, and instead walks home. He’s halfway home when he gets another text from Natasha. _Movie’s not even over and they just left_ , it reads, _think I’m going to stay and finish the movie, though, since it’s just getting good_.

Steve squints at it. He quickly writes back a response. _They left?_

The only thing Natasha sends back are three emojis that look like eggplants. Steve is even more confused.

When he gets home, he collapses into the sofa and intends to stay up until Bucky gets home. Around midnight, though, Steve drifts to sleep, his dreams full of Bucky’s lips and hands.

***

Steve wakes up abruptly the next morning.

He’s still on the couch, but he’s covered in a blanket that he doesn’t remember grabbing the other night. He sits up and rubs his eyes and realizes Bucky must be back home because someone is rummaging through the kitchen. Slowly, he shuffles to the kitchen to find Bucky scrambling eggs at the stovetop.

Steve leans against the doorway and goes, “Hey.”

“Jesus chri – Oh,” Bucky hisses, knocking his head against the range hood before giving Steve an unimpressed look that melts into a small smile. “Probably slept real good on the couch, yeah?”

Steve shrugs. He does kind of have a crick in his neck. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

“Figured.”

“Was waiting up for you,” Steve says, sitting down at the breakfast nook. As casually as he can, he asks, “When did you, uh, get back last night?”

Bucky has his back turned to him as he shrugs. “Kinda got in early this morning.”

“Oh?” Steve says stupidly, trying to keep his voice natural. He figured as much after what Natasha said and their show in the theater. He’s not very happy about it, either, considering the guy was basically a complete stranger, but he owes it to Bucky to make his own decision. _No matter how stupid they are_ , Steve thinks huffily.

Turning around, Bucky has a smirk on his face, the same one he used to get after he come back from a night with a girl. He’s not slightly drunk and flush in the face anymore, but Steve can practically see the way his hair used to look and that ratty coat he used to wear every winter. He’s obviously proud of himself.

“I take it you had a good night?”

Bucky’s smile widens. “It was pretty great, Steve,” he finally gushes, like he’s been dying to tell someone.

Steve doesn’t know exactly how to respond so all he does is give Bucky a thumbs up. His face is hot as he stares down into the counter awkwardly.

“I mean, _this guy_ , Steve,” Bucky muses, back turned as he works on his eggs. “I can’t believe I had all that straight sex before this. Like, this was so much better, really.”

Steve nods, like he actually understands what Bucky is talking about and hesitantly says, “I’m happy for you, Buck.”

Bucky continues jabbering as they eat the eggs he’s made, nearly making Steve choke on his food and blush even harder with each sentence. Bucky’s always been expressively explicit when it came to his escapades, and Steve’s always been a bit of a prude when it came to hearing them, but something about hearing Bucky describe himself sucking someone’s dick makes Steve bolt up from his chair and choke out an excuse to escape the kitchen.

After pacing his bedroom for a few minutes and wiping sweaty palms on his pants, Steve decides a shower could be good. It was the best place to clear his mind and clean whatever thoughts were looming over him. It turns out to be a terrible idea, though, because before Steve even notices it, the water is steaming up the bathroom and he’s achingly hard, his hands stubbornly staying at his side as his mind wanders dangerously.

He doesn’t mean to, he really doesn’t, but all of Bucky’s stupid words are floating around in his head. He can’t help but to stare into the shower tile and think of Bucky casually talking about sinking to his knees and unzipping the other man’s pants. Even worse, Steve can’t help but to visualize Bucky’s deft fingers reaching out to cup the bulge in the man’s pants and then slip under the waistband of his briefs.

Steve dips his head under the water and tries to clear his thoughts, but he can’t manage, not with how hard he is. The only simple reaction is for him to just jerk off and get it over with. Hissing when he finally touches himself, his hand sliding over the hot skin hurriedly, he tells himself he will not think of Bucky.

Instead, he thinks of faceless women and even one man that he has entertained for years without trying to think too hard about it. Too easily, though, the unidentified man becomes someone Steve recognizes, his pale blue eyes looking up to Steve from his place on his knees.

It all grows from there. One second Steve is thinking of Bucky with his mouth around Steve, and then the next he’s leaning over him, his dark hair falling into his face as he rocks forward. Then, he’s kissing Steve’s neck and jerking Steve off just the way he likes it.

With Bucky’s gravelly morning voice talking so lewdly in his head, Steve comes, his hand bracing his weight on the tile. He leans his head against the tile and breathes heavily, all of his visions slowly fading out and the guilt taking over.

“Shit,” he mutters, dipping his head back in the water.

***

Steve wakes up at two in the morning to the familiar noises of agony a few doors down from his own room.  It’s always Bucky, wrapped up in his sheets and sweating and choking on harsh Russian words. It scared Steve at first (and still does a little, truthfully), but he’s mostly grown used to it.

Like usual, Steve gets out of bed and pads barefoot and shirtless to Bucky’s room. He always leaves the door ajar, like he expects for Steve to have to come in every other night, but Steve always knocks before gently pushing it open further.

Bucky is already awake, sitting up in bed with his legs pulled up this chest and his face in his knees. Steve slips under the covers and tries to think of something right to say. Admittedly, he’s never gotten any better at comforting Bucky. Mostly, it only makes Steve frustrated and upset thinking of the reasons why Bucky has the nightmares.

He sits close to him, though, and puts an arm around his shoulder and cradles the side of his head with his hand. Bucky’s hair is soft and slightly greasy under his touch, but he can feel his body instantly react to the touch, angling closer.

“Do you remember when we were kids and we hid that stray cat in my room for a week?” Steve says, just to say something. “What was his name again?” He hopes that Bucky will say something, but he doesn’t. “I think we named him Alfred. You were the one that wanted to keep him but you couldn’t in your room because you shared it with Rebecca.”

Bucky hasn’t moved at all, but Steve cards through his hair and continues through the motions. “Anyways, it took Ma a whole week to realize I had that mangy thing my room. I was practically always sneezing and she thought I was getting sick again until she heard that thing scratching at the door.”

Bucky looks up finally, a hint of a crooked smile on his lips and eyes red. “Should’ve guessed you’d be allergic to cats.”

“Buck,” Steve says. “I was allergic to everything.”

He laughs then, knocking his head into Steve’s. “You were.”

“We could get another cat now, if you wanted to still.”

“The serum might’ve fixed your allergies, pal, but I don’t think it made you like cats,” Bucky says. “You forgot to mention how much you hated Alfred. You only kept him in your room because you knew how much I liked him.”

Steve shrugs. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Bucky exclaims, pulling back. He playfully grabs a pillow and hits Steve’s chest with it. “You hated him, Rogers.”

Steve pretends to be hurt and grabs another pillow before hitting Bucky back and going, “You’re right. Alfred was such a little shit, just like you.”

Bucky makes an offended noise and hits Steve back. It leads to the two of them springing up from the bed and chasing each other around the apartment while swinging pillows at each other. Eventually, after a particularly mean spirited blow to the face, Steve collapses into the couch and throws his pillow to the ground.

“I’m calling a truce,” Steve tells him.

Bucky sits down next to him, dropping his pillow on the ground. “Never thought I’d see the day Steve Rogers backs down from a fight. Thought you could do this all day?”

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Hey, do you want to get some early breakfast at the diner?” Bucky asks. He’s not even looking at Steve when he does, and instead nonchalantly looks down to his hands.

Steve feels bad letting him down. “I should actually probably get some sleep. I have a date with Sharon tonight.”

“Oh.” He seems surprised.

“Sorry, I thought I mentioned it?”

Bucky shakes his head. “It’s fine. You probably did. I’ve been meaning to test out this new recipe with figs in it, and I know that you hate figs so…”

“That’s good.”

The room is suddenly awkward, something that rarely happens to the two of them anymore. Something about Sharon’s name always makes them act like this. Steve is half-tempted to even mention that he’s not exactly excited to go. He had realized, only after setting the date up, that he was even dreading the night.

“Well, I’ll let you get some sleep. I think I’m going to go on a jog since I’m already up,” Bucky says, leaving the room abruptly.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has left kudos and commented and stuck around :")

Steve tries to slip as quietly as he can through the front door. All he wants to do is lie in bed for a few hours and feel sorry for himself, but of course Bucky is watching TV in the living room and catches Steve before he can all but run away.

“Hey,” he hollers, making Steve stop in place. Bucky’s spread out over the couch, the TV playing softly, clearly overlooked by whatever Bucky’s looking at on his phone. His hair still looks wet from the shower and it’s just starting to curl. “How was your date?”

Steve thinks for a second that he should lie. He feels like that’s all he’s been doing lately, though, so he just sighs and sits next to Bucky on the couch. He leaves no space between them and their thighs and shoulders touch.

“I ended it,” Steve tells him. “If there was really anything to end.”

Bucky scoots over so that he’s facing Steve with his eyebrows drawn up. “What? Why? I thought you really liked her.”

Steve shrugs. “Not really. She wasn’t – I don’t know, Buck.”

“Okay,” Bucky says carefully. “That’s fine. You know that’s fine, right, Steve?”

It should be obvious, but Steve stills at the words. He had felt like such a heel the entire night. Sharon had been so kind about it, too. Steve still remembers when he was still little and used to watch Bucky get all the dates. Now, Steve has dates, but he doesn’t want them, and he feels awful about it. Bucky makes him feel better, though, just with those few words.

“Yeah,” he finally murmurs. He swallows thickly.

Bucky must sense his sadness because he’s patting his arm and saying, “Hey, cheer up. You could always try a dating app like me. I’m sure there are some for straight people.”

Steve debates nodding along, but even with the sick feeling of dread in his stomach, he knows he doesn’t want to lie anymore. He just wants to be completely honest with Bucky again.

“Bucky,” he says, barely above a whisper. “I’m not straight.”

Steve can’t bear to look up at him but he can feel his eyes on him. The silence is enough to know Bucky’s shocked by the confession.

“Really?”

“I’m sorry,” Steve spits out. “I should’ve told you sooner. I just – it was hard – and I thought – “

“Shut up,” Bucky interrupts him. “It took me, like, seventy years to tell you. I understand.”

Steve smiles, finally able to look up at Bucky. He’s smiling gently at him in that soft way Steve rarely sees anymore. Steve wants to tell him everything in that moment. He’s already made one huge confession for the night, and it can’t be that difficult to admit that he realized he’s in love with Bucky because he’s been stalking all of his dates. It is, though, and he can’t get it out. He’s not sure if he ever will.

Bucky looks like he’s about to say something when he stops biting on his lip. He opens his mouth just slightly but stops himself, eyes flickering across the room. Steve thinks maybe he made it all up but then Bucky coughs into his fist and goes, “So, do you wanna watch Brokeback Mountain?”

Steve drops his shoulders and tries not to seem disappointed. “Sure. What’s it about?”

Bucky lights up, already standing up to retrieve the disc. “Oh god, you’re going to love it.”

This usually means Steve isn’t going to.

***

Just when Steve thinks that Bucky’s given up on dates, he sets up another one. He tells Steve he’s going to the shitty diner a few blocks over, and something sets heavy in Steve’s stomach. It’s not like it’s that big of a deal, but Steve’s embarrassingly always thought of it as _their_ place.

Since they’ve gotten back, they’ve liked to go to the diner because it reminds them of a place they used to go before all of this. It’s not exactly the same, and the prices in the menu have changed a lot, but there’s something comfortable and familiar about it.

That’s why when Bucky tells Steve he’s taking his date there, he instantly feels a little betrayed. It doesn’t help that when Steve texts Natasha about when they should meet up, she says she can’t make it, and that Steve has to try (“for once in your life, goddamnit, Rogers”) to be incognito.

It’s easier said than done.

Bucky seems more nervous about this date than all his others combined. It’s not about his clothes or about the venue of the date (which Steve thinks might be a bit worrisome since the diner isn’t necessarily the classiest place for a first date), though. Instead, he paces the living room and refuses to actually voice any of his fears.

It frustrates Steve to no end, but he sits on the couch and tries to calm Bucky down. They go in circles, though, and Bucky eventually pulls on his jacket and heads out a good hour early. Steve frowns at the sound of the door slamming and debates whether he should just skip this date.

Admittedly, he really isn’t that stealthy without Natasha, and he’s not too keen on going on his first solo mission without her. More so, he’s not sure he needs to go. He shouldn’t have ever started. It was wrong to spy on Bucky’s dates without his permission, and Steve does feel guilty about it. The worst part, though, and the part that makes Steve stay seated on the couch for twenty minutes after Bucky leaves, is that Steve’s not sure he _even_ wants to go.

Steve didn’t want to admit before, and he barely does now, but he’s _jealous_. He’s unbearably jealous of all the guys who get to send flirty texts to Bucky, and who get to see him all dressed up on their dates, and get to kiss him, and get to –

The truth is, it hurts Steve to go and watch Bucky’s dates.

But the other truth is, Steve’s always been a bit of a masochist.

So, he puts on his shoes and ditches his sunglasses, and then heads out the door. The diner is a quick walk, especially with how nervous Steve is, and he easily slips inside and gets a booth in the corner. He keeps his head partially bowed and peers around. He doesn’t spot Bucky, though.

Suddenly already fearing the worst, Steve lifts his head higher and starts looking for the familiar head of brown hair more earnestly. He panics for another few seconds before Bucky walks out of the back where the bathrooms are, hands in his pockets and a frown on his face. Steve instantly looks down to the table.

He starts to count to twenty, hoping when he looks back up he’ll be able to catch a sight of Bucky and his date, but he barely gets to fifteen when someone sits across from him.

Instead of Natasha’s red hair that he half-expected, he finds Bucky, a smirk on his face.

“You’ve never been much a spy,” he says, smug. “Or a liar.”

Steve stares at him, horrified and mouth open in surprise.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Come on, Steve. You had to realize that even Natasha wasn’t being surreptitious.”

“ _What_?”

“I mean, the first date wasn’t bad, I barely saw you,” Bucky tells him casually. “The second one was…well, you know how the second one went. But that third one, I didn’t even see you. But, uh.” Bucky smiles wickedly, actually looking a bit sheepish. “I was a little distracted.”

Steve feels like he can’t breathe. “Bucky, I’m sorry but I was worried about you, okay? I didn’t mean to – “

“Steve.”

“And I thought it would be for your best and I wanted to help – ”

“ _Steve_.”

Steve finally stops talking, blinking at Bucky.

“It’s fine,” he says. “Natasha told me before the first date. Even if she hadn’t, I would’ve realized. Like I said, you’re a horrible liar.”

“So, you’re not angry?”

Bucky smiles at Steve. “I mean, I was a little at first but I know why you did it. I would’ve too.”

Steve feels like he can breathe again. He had never expected it to turn out this way, but it’s probably for the best.

“Wait,” Steve says suddenly. “Where is your date? Did he stand you up?”

“There was no date.”

Steve stares at him. “Oh.”

They sit for a few awkward seconds, Steve trying to understand what is happening. Did Bucky specifically set this up just to catch Steve in the act? Or did he –

Steve is about to ask something when a server interrupts him before he can even get anything out.

“Hi, my name is Jake, and I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you started with something to drink?”

Bucky smiles one of his most charming smiles and orders a milkshake for the two of them, and Jake gives Steve a lingering look before nodding his head and walking away.

“Bucky,” Steve starts, swallowing thickly. He quickly realizes, though, that he’s not sure what he actually wants to say.

Bucky clearly notices that he’s struggling, and he gives him a pitying smile. “I don’t want to be presumptuous or anything,” he says slowly, the smile slipping off his face and the oozing confidence from before gone. “But why did you end things with Sharon?”

Steve looks down his hands twisted together on the table. He makes a face, which he’s sure Bucky can see, and then shrugs his shoulders. “I just – ” How is he supposed to admit to all of this? How is he supposed to tell Bucky that all this time he’s been jealous and he only realized it after Bucky slept with some guy he barely even knew?

Bucky shakes his head and then surprises Steve by laughing. He actually laughs to himself and then takes a big breath and lets it out. “Okay, I guess I’m just going to go for it,” he says, like he can’t actually believe he’s doing it. “Look, I know it was probably obvious, okay? I’m sure you knew before, you know, _before_.” Bucky laughs again. “I think, uh, even your ma knew. And maybe I thought – or maybe I _hoped_ – that you did too, but then Peggy happened and then – well, you know.”

Steve stares.

“After I recovered, I thought maybe those feeling were gone but they weren’t, not really. That’s why that app was what I thought I needed. I had hoped that if I went on enough dates, or slept with enough guys, that I would forget how I felt for you. But…” He shakes his head, not meeting Steve’s eyes. He does finally look up, though, his eyes fearful as he says the next part. “I just need to know if I’m reading this all wrong.”

Steve keeps staring, his mouth parted in surprise.

The server is back before Steve can even say anything, and Bucky looks beyond frustrated as Jake places down two milkshakes and awkwardly skirts away, clearly sensing the tension. Bucky picks at his straw wrapper. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly.

“Jesus Christ, Bucky,” Steve finally gets out. “You’re not reading this wrong at all. I fucking – I’ve been going crazy with how jealous I am of those guys.”

Bucky looks up, a small smile blooming on his lips.

“Did you really feel that way before? When we were – _before_.”

“Since we were kids,” Bucky admits shyly. “I’ve been in love with you for a long time, asshole.”

Steve blinks. “You’re in love with me?”

Bucky laughs, this time giddy instead of sad. “What do you think I’ve been talking about?”

“I’m in love with you, too,” Steve tells him. He reaches across the table and puts his hand on top of Bucky’s. “I’m sorry it took so long for me to realize.”

They smile at each other for so long that both of them are a little surprised when Jake interrupts them by clearing his throat. “Is everything tasting – ”

“Can we get these to go?” Bucky interrupts.

***

Once the apartment door is closed, and they forget about their half-finished milkshakes on the counter, Steve isn’t sure what to do. It feels awkward for a few seconds, the two of them standing in the dimly-lit kitchen a few inches apart.

Steve takes a big breath and looks over to Bucky, who is already looking over at Steve.

Bucky’s eyes glance down slightly and then back up to Steve’s eyes. “Can I…”

“Yeah.”

Then they’re kissing. Years and years for one touch that feels far overdue. Steve fists the front of Bucky’s shirt and tries to get even closer to him. Bucky actually starts to laugh into the kiss, though, which only makes Steve laugh too, even if he’s unsure of why they’re doing it.

“We could’ve been doing this a long time ago,” Bucky tells him, breathing heavily against Steve’s lips.

“Should’ve made a move sooner,” Steve tells him.

Bucky kisses him quick and then says, “Timing is tricky.”

“Let’s not waste any more time.”

“Well, aren’t you forward?”

Steve hums and starts to undo the first button Bucky’s shirt. “Haven’t had as much practice as you.”

Bucky huffs. “Punk.”

“Jerk.”

They don’t actually make it to the bedroom.

Steve would laugh about it if he wasn’t so preoccupied with running his hands down Bucky’s chest and sucking a hickey into his neck. Bucky pulls away and sinks to his knees, though, looking up to Steve with wide eyes and asking, “Can I?”

Steve actually gapes at him. “Uh,” he says stupidly before the question Bucky is actually asking him dawns on him. “ _Yes_. Please.”

Bucky smiles wickedly and then starts working open Steve’s pants. He can’t actually believe it’s real for a few seconds until he brings his hand down to rest on the top of Bucky’s head, his soft hair under his fingers.

“Holy shit,” Steve whispers to himself.

Bucky scoffs. “I haven’t even touched you yet, Steve.”

Steve playfully pulls on Bucky’s hair and all it does is makes Bucky gasp and open Steve’s pants quicker. Once he has him in his mouth, Steve nearly comes then.

“ _Buck_ ,” Steve moans. “So good.”

Bucky only seems encouraged by Steve’s words and works his mouth and hand together to bring Steve to the edge. He has to actually push Bucky away so that he doesn’t come in his mouth.

“Can you – Can I – ” Steve is just babbling at this point, but he thinks he gets his point across.

Bucky kisses Steve’s hip before standing up and kissing his lips. “What do you want, baby?”

“Anything. _You_.”

He huffs out a laugh. “Well, I’ve got good news for you then.”

“ _Please_ ,” Steve whines.

“You’re so impatient. I’ll be right back.”

When he comes back, they work each other out of their clothes and Bucky pushes Steve against the island in their kitchen. Steve figures they could’ve probably made it to the bedroom, but he grips the edge of the island and lets Bucky bend him forward when he pushes in and kisses the back of Steve’s neck.

When they finish, they laugh into each other’s necks and Bucky playfully slaps Steve’s ass. It’s not even five minutes later that they actually do finally make it to the bedroom for round two. Steve kisses him and asks, “You’re gonna delete your dating app right?”

“Obviously.”


End file.
